New years resolutions! What are they? Some sort of 'hair shirt' punisment for enjoying yourself during the year - squeezing in a few vices (and I use that term very loosely and in a non-religious context) amid the hectic schedules we all keep just to survive in our jobs and private lives.
Deprevation at its most extreme and severe. My religious friends (and I do love and respect their beliefs) talk about Lent, Ramadan and Passover. We heathens have New Year's Resolutions.
I can understand the resolution to stop smoking, (that will kill you) but most of the other common resolutions are designed to take away what we enjoy most - eating, drinking, reading, shopping, partying, dancing, talking, breathing etc etc.
So, it seems, the only sensible resolutions to embark on are ones that give you something. But even then you have to be careful. (I definitely do not want illness, grandchildren or more housework).
But even worse then the taking and giving mindset they provoke, I don't know about you, but New Year's Resolutions ALWAYS leave me with an overwhelming sense of failure. It is almost like saying do the opposite of what you resolve - don't each sugar, becomes a daily trip to the bakery; exercise more becomes lay on the couch all day and defrost chicken kievs for dinner; garden more becomes yes those weeds are a new trend in permaculture. etc
By now(round about mid February if you're lucky) you are engulfed by feelings of guilt and self loathing so overwhelming that they manifest themselves in 5 extra kilos and a backyard that makes Mao's parched earth policy look like an oasis.
So for 2010 my New Year's Resolution is to never, ever, ever to have another New Year's resolution ever again.
Now that I've got that off my chest I can get back to the eating, drinking, gardening and generally being merry.